The PictureDesk Paradox

JadedSnapper has just filed pictures from a photocall involving BigFamousMan doing a meet and great. The ‘best shot’ of the day was BigFamousMan kissing a baby, aww! Unusually Jaded has managed to get a nice tight long lens shot of the momentus event

PictureBoss: Nice pictures Jaded

JadedSnapper: Are you ill?

PictureBoss: Just one question…

JS: Oh, no, I can see you’re functioning perfectly normally

PictureBoss:… that picture of BigFamousMan kissing a baby… did you get a shot of him doing it with all the snappers in the background..

JS: What, the ‘profound meeja shot’ that unpacks the notion of the photocall as an actual event?

PictureBoss: Yeah

JS: But you hate that kind of shot

PictureBoss: Well there are always exceptions…

JS: In fact last time I did that shot you said: “I hate that profound bollocks, it just shows you couldn’t get to the right position in time. Don’t do it again. No exceptions”

PictureBoss: Yes, but look at this shot [taps his computer screen]

JS: What about it?

PictureBoss: Well, I quite like this ‘meeja shot’ that ArtyAgency took. Look he’s caught the flash from the other snappers and everything…

JS: Yes, it is nice

PictureBoss: So have you got one just like it?

JS: [tapping on the screen] What’s that in the background?

PictureBoss: Well that’s the snappers. I like the way it unpacks the notion of the photocall…

JS: As an event, and sums it up as a contrivance?

PictureBoss: Yeah, it’s clever isn’t it. So have you got one?

JS: Well if you play Where’sJaded for just a minute you’ll see me just there [taps screen]

PictureBoss: Ah, yeah, there you are!

JS: And he only kissed one baby, once

PictureBoss: Right..

JS: And so if I’m there getting the shot I’ve given you

PictureBoss: Uh-huh

JS: I can’t also be there [tapping screen] taking the shot ArtyAgency took

PictureBoss: Yeah, but I like that shot [hammering screen]

JS: And you asked for that shot [tapping screen on his own picture]

PictureBoss: But I’ve looked through all your shots, arbitrarily decided what’s missing, looked through everyone else’s shots and now, post event, come to the decision that I want that shot [bashing the screen at ArtyAgency's picture]

JS: But there’s an infinite amount of pictures that can be taken any one event…

PictureBoss: Yes

JS: …And I can only take a limited number…

PictureBoss: That’s true…

JS: …So I tend to take the pictures I’ve been asked for first, and the clever ones second…

PictureBoss: You’ve been trained well!

JS: … But despite that, whatever I take, on your orders, you will always -

PictureBoss: – That’s right, find the ‘missing’ picture and innocently ask ‘Have you got this one?’

JS: Well you put me in a dilemma

PictureBoss: I thought it was a paradox?

JS: It’s confusing isn’t it. So what do you want me to do? Swap frames?

PictureBoss: Oh no, that’s corrupt

JS: What then?

PictureBoss: Be in two places at once

About these ads

About jadedsnapper

Reinforcing the stereotype that local press photographers are more miserable than the people they photograph
This entry was posted in PictureBoss, Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

5 Responses to The PictureDesk Paradox

  1. Pingback: Tweets that mention The PictureDesk Paradox | Jadedsnapper's Blog -- Topsy.com

  2. f2point4 says:

    Not felt much like laughing recently but you did it again. Excellent! :-)

  3. Pingback: The “job” of the photo | Leif Norman (photographer)

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s