The PictureDesk Paradox

JadedSnapper has just filed pictures from a photocall involving BigFamousMan doing a meet and great. The ‘best shot’ of the day was BigFamousMan kissing a baby, aww! Unusually Jaded has managed to get a nice tight long lens shot of the momentus event

PictureBoss: Nice pictures Jaded

JadedSnapper: Are you ill?

PictureBoss: Just one question…

JS: Oh, no, I can see you’re functioning perfectly normally

PictureBoss:… that picture of BigFamousMan kissing a baby… did you get a shot of him doing it with all the snappers in the background..

JS: What, the ‘profound meeja shot’ that unpacks the notion of the photocall as an actual event?

PictureBoss: Yeah

JS: But you hate that kind of shot

PictureBoss: Well there are always exceptions…

JS: In fact last time I did that shot you said: “I hate that profound bollocks, it just shows you couldn’t get to the right position in time. Don’t do it again. No exceptions”

PictureBoss: Yes, but look at this shot [taps his computer screen]

JS: What about it?

PictureBoss: Well, I quite like this ‘meeja shot’ that ArtyAgency took. Look he’s caught the flash from the other snappers and everything…

JS: Yes, it is nice

PictureBoss: So have you got one just like it?

JS: [tapping on the screen] What’s that in the background?

PictureBoss: Well that’s the snappers. I like the way it unpacks the notion of the photocall…

JS: As an event, and sums it up as a contrivance?

PictureBoss: Yeah, it’s clever isn’t it. So have you got one?

JS: Well if you play Where’sJaded for just a minute you’ll see me just there [taps screen]

PictureBoss: Ah, yeah, there you are!

JS: And he only kissed one baby, once

PictureBoss: Right..

JS: And so if I’m there getting the shot I’ve given you

PictureBoss: Uh-huh

JS: I can’t also be there [tapping screen] taking the shot ArtyAgency took

PictureBoss: Yeah, but I like that shot [hammering screen]

JS: And you asked for that shot [tapping screen on his own picture]

PictureBoss: But I’ve looked through all your shots, arbitrarily decided what’s missing, looked through everyone else’s shots and now, post event, come to the decision that I want that shot [bashing the screen at ArtyAgency's picture]

JS: But there’s an infinite amount of pictures that can be taken any one event…

PictureBoss: Yes

JS: …And I can only take a limited number…

PictureBoss: That’s true…

JS: …So I tend to take the pictures I’ve been asked for first, and the clever ones second…

PictureBoss: You’ve been trained well!

JS: … But despite that, whatever I take, on your orders, you will always -

PictureBoss: – That’s right, find the ‘missing’ picture and innocently ask ‘Have you got this one?’

JS: Well you put me in a dilemma

PictureBoss: I thought it was a paradox?

JS: It’s confusing isn’t it. So what do you want me to do? Swap frames?

PictureBoss: Oh no, that’s corrupt

JS: What then?

PictureBoss: Be in two places at once

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