PictureBoss: Jade, I’ve got a job
JadedSnapper: Righty-O gives it here
PictureBoss: BigSupermarket have got two new wheelchairs for their customers to use, if they want
JS: That’s lovely…
PictureBoss: Now, EditorBoss is a big fan of this story, so he has specific instructions, and you know the First Law of Press Photography –
JS: “EditorBoss’ word is law, never deviate from his word”
PictureBoss: Correct. His instructions are, you must, that’s must, get some people in the wheelchairs. Anyone will do, but someone must be in those bloody chairs.
JS: No chance of a metaphor on this one, or thinking a bit out of the box?
PictureBoss: Remember the First Law
JS: [sighs] Well if it makes him happy
The next day
EditorBoss: [swings open the SnapperRoom door, CRACK! takes it off its hinges] What the fuck is going on in here?!
JS: Erm, morning
EditorBoss: Did you just ‘morning’ me? Did you – of all people – JUST FUCKING ‘MORNING’ ME?
JS: Is morning a verb?
EditorBoss: You’ll soon be mourning for yer balls son, after what you did!!
JS: And what was that?
EditorBoss: I’ve had a string of complaints about that wheelchair picture. Apparently it’s not politically correct to put people in wheelchairs who obviously don’t need them. You’ve made a fool of me so I’m having your balls. I’m writing a massive apology and I’m sticking the blame squarely on your little snapper head, you fuck!
JS: So that whole editing process where all pictures are first seen by PictureBoss, then ChiefSubBoss and finally by yourself EditorBoss didn’t happen on this occassion?
EditorBoss: Are trying to be fucking smart with me son?
JS: Well it’s a relative term –
Editor: Listen you camera monkey fuck. You’ve fucked this paper up..
JS: As I recall I was only following The First Law of Press Photography : “EditorBoss’ word is law, never deviate from his word” –
EditorBoss: Yes but you’ve forgotten The Second Law haven’t you boy?
EditorBoss: “The Snapper is Always Wrong”
JS: You best have my balls