The First Law of Press Photography

PictureBoss: Jade, I’ve got a job

JadedSnapper: Righty-O gives it here

PictureBoss: BigSupermarket have got two new wheelchairs for their customers to use, if they want

JS: That’s lovely…

PictureBoss: Now, EditorBoss is a big fan of this story, so he has specific instructions, and you know the First Law of Press Photography –

JS: “EditorBoss’ word is law, never deviate from his word”

PictureBoss: Correct. His instructions are, you must, that’s must, get some people in the wheelchairs. Anyone will do, but someone must be in those bloody chairs.

JS: No chance of a metaphor on this one, or thinking a bit out of the box?

PictureBoss: Remember the First Law

JS: [sighs] Well if it makes him happy

The next day

EditorBoss: [swings open the SnapperRoom door, CRACK! takes it off its hinges] What the fuck is going on in here?!

JS: Erm, morning

EditorBoss: Did you just ‘morning’ me? Did you – of all people – JUST FUCKING ‘MORNING’ ME?

JS: Is morning a verb?

EditorBoss: You’ll soon be mourning for yer balls son, after what you did!!

JS: And what was that?

EditorBoss: I’ve had a string of complaints about that wheelchair picture. Apparently it’s not politically correct to put people in wheelchairs who obviously don’t need them. You’ve made a fool of me so I’m having your balls. I’m writing a massive apology and I’m sticking the blame squarely on your little snapper head, you fuck!

JS: So that whole editing process where all pictures are first seen by PictureBoss, then ChiefSubBoss and finally by yourself EditorBoss didn’t happen on this occassion?

EditorBoss: Are trying to be fucking smart with me son?

JS: Well it’s a relative term –

Editor: Listen you camera monkey fuck. You’ve fucked this paper up..

JS: As I recall I was only following The First Law of Press Photography : “EditorBoss’ word is law, never deviate from his word” –

EditorBoss: Yes but you’ve forgotten The Second Law haven’t you boy?

JS: ?

EditorBoss: “The Snapper is Always Wrong”

JS: You best have my balls

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About jadedsnapper

Reinforcing the stereotype that local press photographers are more miserable than the people they photograph
This entry was posted in EditorBoss, Uncategorized and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

3 Responses to The First Law of Press Photography

  1. Pingback: Tweets that mention The First Law of Press Photography | Jadedsnapper's Blog -- Topsy.com

  2. Over here at the Good Funeral Guide we often try out coffins for size and comfort without being dead. As with wheelchairs, we feel there’s no harm in rehearsing, so we side with you in this.

    I like your blog, JS. Very much. Dunno about your snapworthiness, but you’re a good wordmonger. That ‘morning’ exchange is one for the connoisseurs.

  3. Athoob says:

    I’ve never doubt that photographers are more miserable than the people they photograph.

    I like your blog too.

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