JadedSnapper’s managed to get a freelance job with PoshPaper, only he’s 15 minutes late

JadedSnapper: Hi, I’m looking for PoshPaperReporter

PoshPaperReporter: Ergh, I assume by that vulgar term you mean me I suppose

JS: If you write for the PoshPaper..

PoshPaperReporter: Where’s TalentedSnapper

JS: He’s doing GlamourousJob so I’ve been called in..

PoshPaperReporter: Why have we got you to do my piece?

JS: Well, I am the third best photographer on the EveningSnooze so I’m sure I’ll cope with a CelebrityPortrait of BigBrotherWinner

PoshPaperReporter: Well can you do the pictures first, and quickly..

JS: I’ve only just got here! I need to take in the ambience, scout my backgrounds and decide how to light my CelebrityPortrait –

PoshPaperReporter: Well I’m clearly more important

JS: Clearly

PoshPaperReporter: And stop calling me that..

JS: What?

PoshPaperReporter: ‘Reporter’, I’m a writer!

JS: Erm, if it makes you happy

PoshPaper’Writer’: [mutters] …snappers…

JS: What’s the difference? Is it that little machine?

PoshPaper’Writer’: If by ‘little machine’ you mean my state of the art digital voice recorder, then no, it’s much more sophisticated and nuanced than that. I wouldn’t expect you to grasp it..

JS: Oh… Do you use that because you don’t know Shorthand?

PoshPaper’Writer’: What? Of course not!

JS: But you don’t, do you?

PoshPaper’Writer’: I use my ‘little machine’ as you quaintly call it so I can delve deeper into the soul of BigBrotherWinner instead of having to take notes

JS: So it’s nothing to do with the fact it’ll take you half the afternoon to transcribe the thing afterwards?

PoshPaper’Writer’: Not that I expect you to understand, but that is part of the creative process..

JS: What poncing about with ladedaah lattes and spending the whole day writing about what BigBrotherWinner did on his holidays?

PoshPaper’Writer’: How did you know I was going to ask that?!

JS: Lucky guess I suppose…

PoshPaper’Writer’: Well here he is – quick do your picture – and don’t show him your back! He is a Celebrity after all –

BigBrotherWinner: Alreet Jade how are ya? I haven’t seen you since that BigSupermarket job

JS: Fine thanks, look I’ve got to take your CelebrityPortrait dead quick

BigBrotherWinner: No problem big fella

click click click

PoshPaper’Writer’: Right now go wait in the car! [To BigBrotherWinner] Ooh! How does it feel to finally meet me?

BigBrotherWinner: Err… nice I suppose

PoshPaper’Writer’: What are you still doing here?

JS: So, I have to wait in the car while you do the interview, can’t I do something worth while, like a PotHole picture?

PoshPaper’Writer’: No! You’re supposed to wait in the car and ferry me back to PoshPaper…that’s how it works

JS: Lucky I’ve got that chaffeur hat in the back…

About jadedsnapper

Reinforcing the stereotype that local press photographers are more miserable than the people they photograph
This entry was posted in BigBrotherWinner, PoshPaperReporter and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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