“Stop doing that right now”

SecurityGuard: Stop doing that right now!

JadedSnapper: Doing what?

SecurityGuard: Doing that!

JS: Taking pictures?

SecurityGuard: Yes, taking pictures! You’re on airport land!

JS: S’pose I am, but there is a protest going on

SecurityGuard: And that gate is airport property, which means its…its… confidential!!

JS: Confidential? Well you’re not doing a very good job then are you?

SecurityGuard: What!?

JS: Well it’s pretty big to be confidential

SecurityGuard: Right, you’re coming with me!

JS: Can’t I just go home, it’s 10.30pm and I’m –

SecurityGuard: Shutup! Come with me! And give me your film

JS: Film?

SecurityGuard: Yes! in your camera!

JS: Can’t do that mate

SecurityGuard: I am not your mate!!!

JS: Can’t do that pal

SecurityGuard: I’m not your pal either

JS: Can’t do that –

SecurityGuard: -We could do this for ages

JS: Good point, sorry

SecurityGuard: I need your film

JS: I could be pedantic but in any case it’s not mine to give, the bosses own the pictures, see

SecurityGuard: Delete the pictures then

JS: Can’t do that either

SecurityGuard: I want to see your I.D

JS: There you go


JS: Hey you can’t do that, it’s stealing

SecurityGuard: I’m confiscating it!

JS: Well you can’t really –

SecurityGuard: – Shut up, you’re coming with me

Trot trot trot

Creak, slam

BoredSecurityGuard: Alright Jeffin? What are you doing in the control room?

SecurityGuard: Alright Effin, He’s been taking pictures

BoredSecurityGuard: Oh yeah

SecurityGuard: Yeah! I’m calling the police

JS: I’m happy to go home –

SecurityGuard: You can’t go home!

JS: Am I under arrest?

SecurityGuard: You’re staying here

click, tap tap tap

SecurityGuard: [on phone] This guy’s been taking pictures

SecurityGuard: Right the police are coming…

45 minutes later…

BoredSecurityGuard: Cup of tea, Jeffin?

JS: Can I have one?

SecurityGuard: [stern look]

JS: [to self] sorry..

15 mins later

JS: Don’t think they’re coming mate

SecurityGuard:… course they are

JS: Well they’re only round the corner and they aren’t here yet…

SecurityGuard: ..

JS: … And if we review the situation I’m not sure who’d they arrest…

SecurityGuard: What?

JS: ..I offered to leave the premises when asked – mainly because this is the last place I want to be – so that’s me off the hook really, and you’ve –

SecurityGuard: I’ve what?

JS – you’ve stolen my I.D and held me for no real reason, which is kind of, like, false imprisonment..and if they thought I was a terrorist then they’d be here by now

BoredSecurityGuard: And you’ve left the ConfidentialGate a man down, in the middle of this protest…

SecurityGuard: Right as I was saying I’m ordering you to leave the premises, you do not have to permission to be here, you must leave immediately

JS: Good call

About jadedsnapper

Reinforcing the stereotype that local press photographers are more miserable than the people they photograph
This entry was posted in SecurityGuard, Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

4 Responses to “Stop doing that right now”

  1. Pingback: Tweets that mention “Stop doing that right now” | Jadedsnapper's Blog -- Topsy.com

  2. Viveca Koh says:

    The petty small-mindedness of some of these people is incredible! Another excellent JS anecdote 🙂

  3. A nice ‘story’ well written, and humorous too! JS is right though… If he was a good security guard, he wouldn’t of left his post!

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