LondonPRType ep 2 – Branding

JadedSnapper has a job at a posh hotel. It’s the opportunity of a lifetime, a one on one portrait with BigFamousMan…

JadedSnapper: Hi I’m here for a portrait for the Evening Snooze

LondonPRType: Oh, it’s you. Why we’ve got only the third best photographer for this?! [looks at watch] You’re a bit early aren’t you?

JS: Better than being late, and besides I wanted to get settled and sorted

LondonPRType: Right, well, it’s a bit inconvenient, I’ve got to handle the interview as well

JS: I can set up over here no bother. I won’t even steal anything…

LondonPRType: Hmm, ok, well you should know there’s a few restrictions requirements that I’ve agreed with EditorBoss

JS: [sighs] Really?

 LondonPRType: Yes! Really! He and I have decided how the picture should be taken –

JS: – It’s lucky you’re professional photographers –

LondonPRType: [ignores] – BigFamousMan must never be addressed by his name. He should be referred to only as ‘sir’ by you. You can only shoot him from his left side. You cannot use flash, he believes it releases demons into the world around him. And you must not look through the camera, it unnerves him when a metal contraption appears to have legs and arms and starts to talk to him.

JS: Is he a bit simple?

LondonPRType: What!? No, you are the snapper and snapper=simpleton.

JS: It’s good to know that

LondonPRType: And you must show my client’s branding in all pictures!

JS: I thought you had to pay for adverts?

LondonPRType: This has all been agreed by EditorBoss – I’ve got the email!

JS: Let’s see

LondonPRType: [shows email print out] It’s all in there

JS: ‘I agree to sell out all editorial principles for the mere hint of a story with BigFamousMan’ – well that’s not exactly what it says –

LondonPRType: – It’s all been agreed. Now wait here!

an hour later…

LondonPRType: He’ll just be ten minutes

… an hour later…

LondonPRType: He’ll just be ten minutes

… an hour later…

JS: Does BigFamousMan have a different concept of time to the rest of the human race

LondonPRType: He’ll be here –

JS: – in ten minutes?

LondonPRType: Yep.

LondonPRType: Right here he is!

BigFamousMan: Hey how are you doing? I’m BigFamousMan

JS: [looks slightly confused] Hi mate –

LondonPRType: [hisses] – Sir, it’s sir

JS: Oh, er, hi mate sir

BigFamousMan: Are you well?

JS: [more confused] Yes, fine thanks. [to LondonPRType] – Err, can I have a word.

LondonPRType: Yes, if you must..

JS: [whispers] What’s with the branding?

LondonPRType: Yes, it’s a master stroke isn’t it! You see you bloody press snappers spend all your time cropping out the branding but you can’t avoid it this time! Mwahahahahahaha!!

JS: The evil laugh is a bit much

LondonPRType: Well you have cast me as a pantomime villain!

JS: Fair enough. But it’s a bit odd isn’t it?

LondonPRType: [more to self] No, it’s brilliant

JS: But it’s on his forehead?!

LondonPRType: [again to self] The client’s going to love the coverage!

JS: Yes, but you’re client’s called ‘Federal Amalgamated Nano Nickel Yankees’

LondonPRType: Exactly F.A.N.N.Y!

BigFamousMan: Hey guys! Is there a problem?

JS: Apparently not.

click click click

About jadedsnapper

Reinforcing the stereotype that local press photographers are more miserable than the people they photograph
This entry was posted in BigFamousMan, EditorBoss, LondonPRType, Uncategorized and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

4 Responses to LondonPRType ep 2 – Branding

  1. Viveca Koh says:

    Excellent story, your patience is truly admirable!

  2. Pingback: Tweets that mention LondonPRType ep 2 – Branding | Jadedsnapper's Blog --

  3. terakopian says:

    LOL!!! Got to love PRs of that calibre!

  4. Over here at the Good Funeral Guide we discovered your blog quite by accident, JS. But we are always on the lookout for stuff to cheer us up. The way you blend fatalistic melancholy, quiet desperation and terminal angst never fails to put a spring in our step and a smile on our lips. We now actively need our daily dose.

    You also write bloody well.

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