The Ethical Hound

JadedSnapper is at home editing pictures from a barbeque

EthicalHound: [trot trot trot trot] Hey Jaded

JadedSnapper: Erm, hey, what are you doing here, er, talking?

EthicalHound: Well on special ethical occasions I trot out as a metaphorical device

JS: Oh…what do you want?

EthicalHound: Well I see you’re editing pictures from today’s barbeque

JS: Did you get a sausage? Did you? Oh, that’s a good boy, such a good boy

EthicalHound: [tail wagging, jumping around] Yep! Yep! I’m a good boy [pants, smiling]

EthicalHound: Hang on a minute! I see what you’re doing, you’re distracting me!

JS: Me? Oh no, not me!

EthicalHound: [shows teeth starts to growl] Grrr…what are you doing!!!

JS: Just editing some pictures…

EthicalHound: What are you doing with those two pictures?! Of the dad with the water pistol holding his hand up and the other dad carrying his son??!!! [growls]

JS: Well I was going to combine the two pictures to give a more dramatic effect, so that it looks the dad carrying his son is looking towards the gun and angry gesture, as if they were in a war-

EthicalHound: Arrgggghhhh! [bites as hard as his little jaws can!!]

JS: Ow! What was that for?!

EthicalHound: Arrrgggghhhh! [again bites]

JS: Stop it!

EthicalHound: That’s for trying to change the reality of the images. By manipulating those images together you are changing the relationship between those two dads to achieve an effect that is not in either picture. YOU ARE MANIPULATING THE TRUTH!! Arrgggghhhh!!!

JS: [by now pockmarked with bites on his legs] Alright! Bloody hell I won’t bother!

EthicalHound: Good! The truth of the image is sacrosanct, you should never do anything in photoshop that you can’t do in the darkroom!

JS: I’ve never been in a darkroom…

EthicalHound: [shows teeth] Flippancy is not appropriate in ethical matters!

JS: Alright! Just don’t bite me!

EthicalHound: Glad to see the message is sinking in

JS: That was an awful pun..

EthicalHound: I’m here as your conscience, not as your bloody joke machine… Now what are you doing!?

JS: Well I’m cloning a bit more smoke on to the barbeque

EthicalHound: [launches himself at JS, bites!] Arrrrgggghhhh!

JS: What was that for?

EthicalHound: You are altering the reality of the image! Arrrgggghhhh!

JS: Bloody hell!

EthicalHound: And, what’s worse, you’re doing a really shit job of it! It’s bloody obvious man – you can see all the circle effects from the cloning brush. Bloody amateur..

JS: Yeah but it makes it look more smokey and, you know, dramatic..

EthicalHound: [suddenly frisky] Ooh, hello there, you look nice..

JS: Who are you talking to?

EthicalHound: [pawing at JS’ leg] I like you..

JS: What are you doing

EthicalHound: [grips on to leg] I’m teaching you a lesson! Yep yep yep yep yep yep yep yep yep yep yep yep yep, Yep! –

JS: [standing up, shaking leg] By shagging my leg! Get off you little bastard!

EthicalHound: YEEEEPPP!

JS: That’s horrible, there isn’t anything ethical about that!

EthicalHound: [dismounting] I think you’ll find there is..

JS: Err, what exactly?!

EthicalHound: I am demonstrating the perils of manipulating the truth dear boy

JS: By shagging my leg?

EthicalHound: Precisely, if those pictures were seen beyond this room –

JS: What?

EthicalHound: – You’d be fucked

About jadedsnapper

Reinforcing the stereotype that local press photographers are more miserable than the people they photograph
This entry was posted in EthicalHound, Uncategorized and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to The Ethical Hound

  1. Pingback: Tweets that mention The Ethical Hound | Jadedsnapper's Blog --

  2. terakopian says:

    We can all learn a thing or two from that hound!!

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