TerrorCops

JadedSnapper is at a photographers’ rights demo against police harassment

JadedSnapper: Down with this sort of thing!

PCSO: You there! What are you doing?! Do you have permission to be here?!

JS: Erm, s’pose, it’s just a road like..

PCSO: Didn’t you know it’s illegal to be a photographer and in public!!!

JS: Err, no actually…

PCSO: I’m getting you arrested

JS: Under what law would that be?

PCSO: I don’t need a law to arrest you

JS: A curious interpretation of the rule of law

PCSO: [eyes camera suspiciously] Smart arse eh? I thought as much! Right, I’m getting an actual cop… [on radio] Yeah I’ve got a suspected terrorist here! Yeah he’s got one of those soul stealing devices

[TerrorCop arrives]

TerrorCop: ‘Ello ‘Ello ‘Ello? What’s goin’ on ‘ere then?

JS: Have you just come straight from a pantomime? I mean that was terrible

TerrorCop: You write the thing

JS: Fair point

TerrorCop: So I hear you’re illegally in public?

JS: Well I’m not sure –

PCSO: [leans round from behind TerrorCop] – He is! He is! He looked dead funny and had a camera an’ all. That’s reasonable grounds for suspicion guv!

JS: I didn’t think you needed to be reasonable…

TerrorCop: You’re just lucky we are!

JS: Is this a joke?

TerrorCop: A joke? We take terrorism very seriously

JS: But I’m a photographer not a terrorist…

PCSO: But look at him, he’s clearly a terrorist, he looks like a terrorist! [pointing at JS’ feet]

JS: What? Because I’m wearing sandals?

PCSO: Yeah, that makes you an eco terrorist

JS: It’s a sophisticated analysis you use isn’t it?

PCSO: Straight from the handbook!

TerrorCop: Right you’re getting section FortyFoured!

PCSO: Yeah FortyFour him guv!

JS: So what does that mean?

TerrorCop: I’m going to make you fill out a form and thoroughly waste your time!

JS: The full force of the law then…

TerrorCop: Exactly! You’re in big trouble son!

JS: Son? Hang on a minute how old are you?

TerrorCop: 29 and a half!

JS: Well tweenie pregnancy is clearly an issue round your way

PCSO: That’s threatening behaviour guv!

TerrorCop: Yeah I felt threatened, did you?

PCSO: Yeah guv, and intimidated

JS: You forgot to add breach of the peace

TerrorCop: Ah yeah! Good point! Do you have any connections to terrorism? Have you ever tried to destabilise the state?

JS: This is a tough line of questioning..

TerrorCop: I’m one of the best

JS: I see, one little thing though…

TerrorCop: What?

JS: There’s about 400 hundred of us here all protesting against police intimidation…Have you got enough forms?

TerrorCop: I’m bringing a photocopier

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About jadedsnapper

Reinforcing the stereotype that local press photographers are more miserable than the people they photograph
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