OldTimeTog

JadedSnapper is in the photographers’ room

OldTimeTog: Right you whipper-snapper look at this picture, this is why experience counts!

JadedSnapper: Where’ve you been?

OldTimeTog: This family had lost their rabbit

JS: Oh, is that…

OldTimeTog: News? It’s always had a slippery definition young Jaded..

JS: How is it defined?

OldTimeTog: By the number of blank spaces in the Evening Snooze and the temperature of EditorBoss’ blood. When they both hit sky high make sure you’re snapping a pot hole, or go find ConcernedResident or anything – just don’t be in the office

JS: Ok, so why did you get sent on this lost rabbit job?

OldTimeTog: They needed my experience, it’s about experience [points significantly to his head]

JS: So what did you do?

OldTimeTog: Well I don’t like to reveal my secrets of course…

JS: No that would be telling.

OldTimeTog: Seeing as you asked though –

JS: [interest perked] Yes?

OldTimeTog: Have a look at this [puts picture up on screen]

JS: Erm

OldTimeTog: What? What do you mean ‘erm’

JS: Well it’s just that you’ve got two girls of about six standing next to a rabbit hutch –

OldTimeTog: One of them’s only four mate

JS: Alright, but little girls in any case –

OldTimeTog: That was the brief mate, but look at this extra detail [waves the mouse around their faces]

JS: Yeah, I was going to ask you about that…

OldTimeTog: Tears Jaded, tears, that’s what makes the picture. That’s what turns it from a humdrum image into a shining beacon of press work. Brilliant isn’t it?

JS: Brilliant? Well yes, I wouldn’t photograph crying kids to be honest, I’d let them cuddle their mummy…

OldTimeTog: You see [points to his head] experience, you would flinch in the face of human trauma, I carried on, I faced reality and brought home the tragedy… That’s what gets you the Pulitzer

JS: What a lost rabbit?

OldTimeTog: All shapes and sizes Jaded, all shapes and sizes. But you see, I made sure I’d bring home the bacon…

JS: How do you mean?

OldTimeTog: [stretches back on seat, smirks] You see, I might have helped it along, to bring the emotion into the image…

JS: How?

OldTimeTog: I told them they’re rabbit was dead

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About jadedsnapper

Reinforcing the stereotype that local press photographers are more miserable than the people they photograph
This entry was posted in OldTimeTog, Uncategorized and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

3 Responses to OldTimeTog

  1. sinisterpictures says:

    Thank you JS, made me laugh!

  2. jadedsnapper says:

    It’s supposed to make you cry. Have you no compassion? Empathy? Or even sympathy?… Oh but of course, you’re a snapper, all that died on the first DeathKnock.

  3. Alas made me laugh too :p

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