JadedSnapper is in the photographers’ room

OldTimeTog: Right you whipper-snapper look at this picture, this is why experience counts!

JadedSnapper: Where’ve you been?

OldTimeTog: This family had lost their rabbit

JS: Oh, is that…

OldTimeTog: News? It’s always had a slippery definition young Jaded..

JS: How is it defined?

OldTimeTog: By the number of blank spaces in the Evening Snooze and the temperature of EditorBoss’ blood. When they both hit sky high make sure you’re snapping a pot hole, or go find ConcernedResident or anything – just don’t be in the office

JS: Ok, so why did you get sent on this lost rabbit job?

OldTimeTog: They needed my experience, it’s about experience [points significantly to his head]

JS: So what did you do?

OldTimeTog: Well I don’t like to reveal my secrets of course…

JS: No that would be telling.

OldTimeTog: Seeing as you asked though –

JS: [interest perked] Yes?

OldTimeTog: Have a look at this [puts picture up on screen]

JS: Erm

OldTimeTog: What? What do you mean ‘erm’

JS: Well it’s just that you’ve got two girls of about six standing next to a rabbit hutch –

OldTimeTog: One of them’s only four mate

JS: Alright, but little girls in any case –

OldTimeTog: That was the brief mate, but look at this extra detail [waves the mouse around their faces]

JS: Yeah, I was going to ask you about that…

OldTimeTog: Tears Jaded, tears, that’s what makes the picture. That’s what turns it from a humdrum image into a shining beacon of press work. Brilliant isn’t it?

JS: Brilliant? Well yes, I wouldn’t photograph crying kids to be honest, I’d let them cuddle their mummy…

OldTimeTog: You see [points to his head] experience, you would flinch in the face of human trauma, I carried on, I faced reality and brought home the tragedy… That’s what gets you the Pulitzer

JS: What a lost rabbit?

OldTimeTog: All shapes and sizes Jaded, all shapes and sizes. But you see, I made sure I’d bring home the bacon…

JS: How do you mean?

OldTimeTog: [stretches back on seat, smirks] You see, I might have helped it along, to bring the emotion into the image…

JS: How?

OldTimeTog: I told them they’re rabbit was dead

About jadedsnapper

Reinforcing the stereotype that local press photographers are more miserable than the people they photograph
This entry was posted in OldTimeTog, Uncategorized and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

3 Responses to OldTimeTog

  1. sinisterpictures says:

    Thank you JS, made me laugh!

  2. jadedsnapper says:

    It’s supposed to make you cry. Have you no compassion? Empathy? Or even sympathy?… Oh but of course, you’re a snapper, all that died on the first DeathKnock.

  3. Alas made me laugh too :p

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