JadedSnapper is asking his old tutor for some advice
JadedSnapper: PhotoYoda, How can I become a better photographer, like TalentedPhotographer?
PhotoYoda: Fruitbats [nods to himself]
JS: So, you’re saying I should do some nature photography?
PhotoYoda: [furrows brow and says to himself]… Fruitbats
JS: No? You see I’m jealous of TalentedPhotographer, he just seems so much more successful than me, the third best photographer on the EveningSnooze. I just look at his pictures and every time, I just think, why can’t I do a picture like that?
JS: Right… 1-0?
PhotoYoda: 1-0 [says emphatically]
JS: I mean I spend all the hours doing this job but don’t seem to be getting anywhere, whereas he’s getting all the gongs, the fame…
PhotoYoda: Yes but how much of that is actually working?
JS: You speak?
PhotoYoda: If only to bamboozle you further…
JS: Oh, what do you mean by that?
PhotoYoda: How much of your working is actually working?
JS: Well, I spend plenty of time working, on school fetes, the occasional celebrity, some crime stuff…
PhotoYoda: [shakes head] 1-0!
JS: Back to phrases is it?
PhotoYoda: [points to head] 1-0! You’re not listening!
JS: [getting frustrated] You know, you never actually taught me anything!
PhotoYoda: You plonkersaurus! I never taught him anything either
JS: Well yes…
PhotoYoda: Have you got a business card?
JS: It’s at the printers
PhotoYoda: Do you enter awards?
JS: Oh, I didn’t have the time
PhotoYoda: Do you take a picture for yourself at each job? You know, a good one that stretches you a bit?
JS: Well I don’t really see the point
PhotoYoda: So you work at a paper that pumps out several thousand copies a day, has an internet presence, is syndicated, is a massive platform for your work and you ‘don’t see the point’? And you don’t even have a business card?
JS: Erm, yes
PhotoYoda: And what happened at BigCrimeScene?
JS: Well I went home after I’d done my time
PhotoYoda: And what did the rapscallian TalentedPhotographer do?
JS: Erm, stay all the hours and got the InternationallyFamousPicture..
PhotoYoda: 1-0! That’s the 1-0 my little possum!
JS: I don’t even know what a possum is!
PhotoYoda: It’s the 1-0!
JS: What? I thought it was a marsupial..
PhotoYoda: No no no my little fruitbat! The 1-0 is in your mind, not in your pictures!
JS: In my mind?
PhotoYoda: Do you like taking pictures?
JS: Erm, yes, I suppose
PhotoYoda: Then why all the excuses! I want pictures not excuses!
JS: Yeah but the EveningSnooze doesn’t want good pictures..
PhotoYoda: But you’ve just said you don’t take good pictures! You don’t even bother any more!
JS: So what do you suggest?
PhotoYoda: Fruitbats my dear boy, fruitbats