JadedSnapper is at a photocall, waiting for the ‘action’ to begin.

JadedSnapper: Hi guys

RedTopSnapper: [pointing to JS] Who’s this joker?

SilentSnapper: [shrugs shoulders]

RedTopSnapper: I’ve never seen him before – look at the kit – he must be a joker

SilentSnapper: [nods in agreement]

JS: Hey guys!…OI! I am here you know!

RedTopSnapper: [turns derisively to JS] Yeah, I know

JS: Well why ignore me then? I’m not a mime artist you know!

SilentSnapper: [furrows eyebrows and folds arms, clearly offended]

RedTopSnapper: Look mate, you’re not a pro so why don’t you sod off and play flower macros

JS: What are you on about? I’m the third best photographer on the EveningSnooze

RedTopSnapper: Oh, sorry mate – [turns to SilentSnapper and points with his thumb at JS] – he’s a local photographer

JS: Err, regional!

RedTopSnapper: Oh, dear, sorry mate, a regional photographer

SilentSnapper: [raises eyebrows and smirks]

RedTopSnapper: [turns back to JS] It’s hard these days to tell the amateurs apart from the regional photographers, especially with that kit

JS: What’s wrong with the kit?

RedTopSnapper: Mate, Nikon are shite. Until you get kit like this – [waves Canon camera about] – you’ll never really get on in this game.

JS: They’re just the same these days. And the FrogAgency now uses Nikon..

SilentSnapper: [mimes ‘cheese eating surrender monkeys’]

RedTopSnapper: Exactly, the frogs don’t count. Anyway, that’s not the point, look at this bit [points at the white lens] that’s the difference

JS: What, the colour?

RedTopSnapper: Yeah

JS: Racist

RedTopSnapper: What?

JS: Well what does that matter?

RedTopSnapper: Look, I’ve got a white lens, do you know what that means? It means it cost me more than a Rio Ferdinand

JS: A what?

RedTopSnapper: A grand mate. Over a faaacking grand mate!

JS: Well, all professional kit does these days, even Nikon…

RedTopSnapper: Yeah but no one knows that. With a white lens every one can see!

JS: How useful. So what?

RedTopSnapper: Well hardly any amateurs have these lenses so everyone knows I’m a pro, and I know that everyone who has one is a pro.

JS: So what?

RedTopSnapper: That way, I know who to talk to

SilentSnapper: [nods in agreement]

JS: So, let me get this straight, you only talk to professional photographers who have Canon kit?

RedTopSnapper: You see, not so fick are ya! But there’s one exception to that.

JS: What’s that?

RedTopSnapper: We don’t like girls either.

About jadedsnapper

Reinforcing the stereotype that local press photographers are more miserable than the people they photograph
This entry was posted in RedTopSnapper, SilentSnapper, Uncategorized and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

22 Responses to NikonRacism

  1. myself says:

    Hahahah so true that Nikonracism, I get it all the time myself! me and maybe 2 other local photogs only use Nikon, local newspapers are forced Canon….

  2. Viveca Koh says:

    Red Top and Silent Snapper would hate me then, being a Nikon-wielding Girl πŸ˜‰ Nikon Rules!

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  5. Nico Morgan says:

    At the equestrian events I cover all the amateurs have white lenses. In fact, the crowd is normally riddled with them. The pros are all wielding black.

  6. terakopian says:

    My name’s Edmond Terakopian and I have white lenses……but I’ll talk to anyone, even girls!

  7. nihilinherit says:

    I always thought the white lenses looked stooooopid.

  8. myself says:

    Just to anger the racists, I just went & bought a second Nikon cam. So there πŸ˜›

  9. Jules says:

    My name is Jules and i’m a Nikon shooter. With black lenses. And black cameras. Held together with gaffer tape. Black gaffer tape… πŸ˜‰

  10. Sime says:

    Hmmm, I had a Nikon… it was lovely! Now I have a Canon one and TWO of those “Pro” lenses.. I’m SO awesome… OH YES!… chant it with me!! awe-some awe-some.. oh, wait… what do you mean I’m not a pro?!… I have ze white lens!!

    sorry dude, I’m bored… damn hd video render times!

  11. Martina says:

    Well…there are two Nikkor 300mm…one white and one black =P

  12. Zoscar says:

    Awesome, I love it.
    Nikon forever and hardcore.

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  15. White/Black/Pink… who gives a shit?
    Camera bore pros are worse than camera bore amateurs 😦
    My girlie assistant uses a Pentax and I still talk to her.
    For f%cks sake-how many times? It’s not what you have but how you use it!
    Now I’m off for a lie down in a darkened room,(darkroom?), and to take some more of my blood pressure pills.

  16. handan says:

    I used to be a ‘foreign, female, regional photog with Nikon”. I don’t remember how many times i got hit on the head ”by mistake!” with white canon lenses if I stood in the front. Vivaaa female regional Nikon photographers Solidarity Group!!!

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