CharityCase

JadedSnapper is at a children’s charity event. He has just finished taking pictures for the job.

JS: Right so if there’s nothing else..

CharityWorker: That was really great, the children have been really uplifted by your presence

JS: I haven’t given them any presents..

CharityWorker: No, no, by being here, you’ve really helped their self esteem – [talking to child next to her] Hasn’t it LittleOne?

LittleOne: Yeah, I like playing on the slide

JS: – Err, right, well I’m not sure that’s the case. I’ll be off then…

CharityWorker: Would you like a tea, coffee?

JS: No, no, I’ll just go now…

CharityWorker: Is there any way we could get the spare pictures?

JS: Err, spare pictures?

CharityWorker: You know, the ones you don’t use

JS: Well they’re the ones with the kids’ eyes closed…

CharityWorker: Yeah, but, could you send us the pictures anyway

JS: Well it’s against my contract to do that, you have to ask PictureBoss

CharityWorker: You see, we’re a small charity and we don’t have many pictures so it’d be really great..

JS: [walking towards door] If you talk to PictureBoss I’m sure you can come to some kind of arrangement

CharityWorker: [in front of door] Did you fancy doing a little photo-project?

JS: On your play equipment?

CharityWorker: Well, you know, on our charity generally, kids, some corporate head shots all sorts really

JS: That doesn’t sound like a profound black and white photo essay where I plumb the depths of human existence through the medium of photography

CharityWorker: No we wouldn’t want that. It’s more for our website. Maybe this Sunday?

JS: On my only day off this week?

CharityWorker: Think of LittleOne

JS: What about LittleOne?

CharityWorker: [rubs something in LittleOne’s eyes]

LittleOne: Waa! Waa! Waaaaaaa!

CharityWorker: Look at her, she’s crying! Only by you doing free pictures for us will she ever be happy again.

JS: What did you just do?

CharityWorker: [hides salt cellar] Nothing at all

JS: Right well I can’t really do a whole day of free pictures on my only day off. It kind of undercuts everyone else and devalues photography generally

LittleOne: Waa! Waa! Why…did..you.. do…that?

CharityWorker: [whispers] Ssshh Little One! We’re a small charity, we can’t pay for pictures, but it’d really help our promotion.

JS: Why don’t you get a student?

CharityWorker: No, we need you to do the pictures

JS: Why?

CharityWorker: Because you’re soft – I mean – because we need good pictures – it helps with funding applications

JS: Oh right

CharityWorker: Yeah but not too good, otherwise the funding boards think we’re throwing money around

JS: Well we couldn’t have that. So, you want a professional photographer – for free – but one who isn’t that good in case it makes your charity look bigger than it is.

CharityWorker: Yeah we thought you’d be perfect!

JS: Oh thanks

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About jadedsnapper

Reinforcing the stereotype that local press photographers are more miserable than the people they photograph
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11 Responses to CharityCase

  1. Pingback: Tweets that mention CharityCase | Jadedsnapper's Blog -- Topsy.com

  2. Viveca Koh says:

    I’ve been in a similar situation recently i.e. being asked to work for free, and your post has helped to steel my resolve when faced with this kind of cheekiness. An excellent post as ever JS!

    • jadedsnapper says:

      Notice it’s always presented as a ‘great opportunity’ or a ‘photo project’. And to quote PhotoYoda “If you work for free you work at a loss” or how about “If you work for free you undercut yourself”

  3. pixpilgrim says:

    “CharityWorker: [whispers] Ssshh Little One! We’re a small charity, we can’t pay for pictures, but it’d really help our promotion.”-Classic! 🙂 Top blog, pilgrim.

  4. Tim says:

    I’m sure they’d offer you a credit, which would be worth its weight in gold. And we all know a credit weighs nothing.

  5. Paul Clarke says:

    You heartless bastard.

  6. Franie says:

    Heartless pap scum. Think of the poor kiddies. Put something back. Photography has given you so much.

  7. Franie says:

    Jaded snapper: Thanks for the comment
    Franie: that’s alright! Do you do weddings?
    J.s. Yes but don’t tell those guys at la post.

  8. Franie says:

    Jaded snapper: I’d rather you didn’t call me a pap
    Franie: ok heartless scum do you do weddings?
    JS: yea but I shoot them in a very subjective artistic way using a Black and White filter on my 5d. Don’t tell those pj’s in le post though

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