JadedSnapper is in the slightly unrealistic scenerio of a one-on-one with PopeBoss during the Birmingham leg of his tour of Britain. PopeBoss is carrying a small book.

PopeBoss: [leafing through his book] Awroighte bab, how yaoiw doin’?

JadedSnapper: Err, what?

PopeBoss: [confused, turns some more pages, slightly stressed expression] How bin ya?

JS: [doesn’t understand, so humours] Yes, lovely. So we don’t have much time, could you hold the bible nice and close to your chest?

PopeBoss: Worritiz, right, is not a Boible

JS: Ok, what is it then?

PopeBoss: It’s for me holidays [turns cover to JS]

JS: “Deutsch-Brummie phrasebook” Nice to see you embracing the local culture

PopeBoss: Yeah, well Oi thought it was gonna be bostin’ but my tour’s going rubbish

JS: Mate, I can’t understand you. Put the book down

PopeBoss: But you’re from the local paper!?

JS: Precisely. And I can’t be bothered with all the googling’

PopeBoss: ‘Googling’?

JS: Never mind. So your tour’s not going well?

PopeBoss: Yeah, not compared to His. Thousands more went to see Him. And what happens to me?

JS: What?

PopeBoss: I can’t even headline my own gig. I was the support act for SuBo!

JS: Well she is internationally famous. And that voice!

PopeBoss: She’s got a face like bosted arse, that’s what she’s got. They wouldn’t do that to Him

JS: You haven’t exactly had the greatest PR. What with your advisor saying those vaguely racist things…

PopeBoss: Worritwoz, right, basically he heard we’d be driving through the Black Country and he got all confused

JS: Oh

PopeBoss: So I thought if I learnt a bit of Brummie I could save this from being a disaster. I can’t even sell out. There’s supposed to be a billion of us lot!

JS: Well it is the credit crunch…

PopeBoss: Never mind that bollocks, He always sells out his tours. And world leaders listen more to Him. In fact no one ever shouts ‘Paedo protector’ to Him. Completely stolen my monopoly on righteousness.

JS: Well Pope John-Paul was a bit of superstar. Kissed the ground and everything.

PopeBoss: Oh God, no not him! He’s old news mate!

JS: Right, so who’s got you all jealous then?

PopeBoss: That bloody Bono

About jadedsnapper

Reinforcing the stereotype that local press photographers are more miserable than the people they photograph
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5 Responses to PopeBoss

  1. Pingback: Tweets that mention PopeBoss | Jadedsnapper's Blog -- Topsy.com

  2. Here at the Good Funeral Guide we know nothing of Snapperworld; post-mortem photography isn’t what it was (though we’re very much for it). Given the nature of our specialism we embrace shafts that pierce gloom. Which is why we love your blog. Today, JS, you have excelled yourself with a shaft of transcendent brilliance. Bless you, moi son.

  3. HartleyGoesOn says:

    Bostin’ little script 😉

  4. juliananderson says:

    Rrrr grate ay it loik -smashin’- med mi laff. R .

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