JadedSnapper is in a mythical place in time and space. Fortunately so is the PhotoYoda
JadedSnapper: Afternoon PhotoYoda!
PhotoYoda: Is it?
JS: Well, erm, who knows. Anyway that’s not the point – I’ve got great plan to make money
PhotoYoda: You’re not quitting photography?
JS: No, even better than that. I’m going to shoot weddings!
PhotoYoda: Right, despite having no experience in it, so far, so good. And how will this work out my little fruitbat?
JS: Well I’ll just charge ’em a grand and burn ’em a disc. That’s it
PhotoYoda: So they don’t even get an album? Frames? Prints? A pre-wedding shoot? Planning meetings? 1-0 dear JS, 1-0!
JS: Well if they want prints or an album I’ll just use OnlinePrinter. And LeadingSwedishFurnitureShop does frames for about 10 quid. And I’ll charge a tidy packet for them an’ all!
JS: What? I thought they died out years ago?
PhotoYoda: You’re clearly the last of them
JS: Look I’ve got a booking, can’t be going too wrong…
PhotoYoda: Do you want to be impoverished all your life?
JS: Well, no, that’s why I’m doing this!
PhotoYoda: Then stop being a plonkersaurus! You’ve got it all back to fruitbats!
JS: Err, yeah?
PhotoYoda: Look, you’re planning on offering a premium service, right?
JS: Well I’m charging a grand, loads are more expensive…
PhotoYoda: But a grand is a lot, yes?
JS: Yes, yes it is!
PhotoYoda: But you’re also planning on stiffing your clients before you even have them
JS: Well hardly, I’m offering them the disc…
PhotoYoda: Yeah, but you can’t then charge ‘a tidy packet’ for prints, albums and frames that your client could get themselves. Especially cheapy ones
JS: They won’t know!
PhotoYoda: Do they not have google?
JS: Well, so, I’m offering the disc. Anything else is an extra…
PhotoYoda: Well that’s stupid in the first place. You don’t give away your pictures before you’ve made money from them. You’ve got to provide a service. And that disc should be an extra service. Album first, disc second!
JS: [moping] I thought it was a good plan
PhotoYoda: What do you hate about MonkeySnapper?
JS: He charges peanuts and is rubbish. And takes money off me!
PhotoYoda: You’re doing the same you plonkersaurus!
PhotoYoda: If you want to clients to value your work, you have to as well my little fruitbat! Cowboys cut corners! Use professional suppliers!
JS: But they’re expensive
PhotoYoda: 1-0, there’s the 1-0 in your mind!
JS: But if I use professional suppliers I won’t make as much money. I’ll have to charge as much as the proper wedding photographers…
PhotoYoda: [a knowing look]