JadedSnapper has just filed pictures from a photocall involving BigFamousMan doing a meet and great. The ‘best shot’ of the day was BigFamousMan kissing a baby, aww! Unusually Jaded has managed to get a nice tight long lens shot of the momentus event
PictureBoss: Nice pictures Jaded
JadedSnapper: Are you ill?
PictureBoss: Just one question…
JS: Oh, no, I can see you’re functioning perfectly normally
PictureBoss:… that picture of BigFamousMan kissing a baby… did you get a shot of him doing it with all the snappers in the background..
JS: What, the ‘profound meeja shot’ that unpacks the notion of the photocall as an actual event?
JS: But you hate that kind of shot
PictureBoss: Well there are always exceptions…
JS: In fact last time I did that shot you said: “I hate that profound bollocks, it just shows you couldn’t get to the right position in time. Don’t do it again. No exceptions”
PictureBoss: Yes, but look at this shot [taps his computer screen]
JS: What about it?
PictureBoss: Well, I quite like this ‘meeja shot’ that ArtyAgency took. Look he’s caught the flash from the other snappers and everything…
JS: Yes, it is nice
PictureBoss: So have you got one just like it?
JS: [tapping on the screen] What’s that in the background?
PictureBoss: Well that’s the snappers. I like the way it unpacks the notion of the photocall…
JS: As an event, and sums it up as a contrivance?
PictureBoss: Yeah, it’s clever isn’t it. So have you got one?
JS: Well if you play Where’sJaded for just a minute you’ll see me just there [taps screen]
PictureBoss: Ah, yeah, there you are!
JS: And he only kissed one baby, once
JS: And so if I’m there getting the shot I’ve given you
JS: I can’t also be there [tapping screen] taking the shot ArtyAgency took
PictureBoss: Yeah, but I like that shot [hammering screen]
JS: And you asked for that shot [tapping screen on his own picture]
PictureBoss: But I’ve looked through all your shots, arbitrarily decided what’s missing, looked through everyone else’s shots and now, post event, come to the decision that I want that shot [bashing the screen at ArtyAgency’s picture]
JS: But there’s an infinite amount of pictures that can be taken any one event…
JS: …And I can only take a limited number…
PictureBoss: That’s true…
JS: …So I tend to take the pictures I’ve been asked for first, and the clever ones second…
PictureBoss: You’ve been trained well!
JS: … But despite that, whatever I take, on your orders, you will always –
PictureBoss: – That’s right, find the ‘missing’ picture and innocently ask ‘Have you got this one?’
JS: Well you put me in a dilemma
PictureBoss: I thought it was a paradox?
JS: It’s confusing isn’t it. So what do you want me to do? Swap frames?
PictureBoss: Oh no, that’s corrupt
JS: What then?
PictureBoss: Be in two places at once