After what seems like an awfully long time, JadedSnapper has just returned to his car from a job. A parking warden is there…
JadedSnapper: Hey I’m not five minutes over yet!
ParkingNazi: I know, I know, just getting my ticket ready
JS: Well you can unready it then cos I’m here now
ParkingNazi: Yes well, I suppose – hey, [gesturing at the cameras swinging from JS’ shoulders] you must be a photographer!
JS: Ah, a detective
JS: Nothing mate
ParkingNazi: I like taking pictures you know – I probably do more than you every day. Cars mostly like
JS: Well that’s just rivetting. [moving toward car] I really must be getting on –
ParkingNazi: [standing slightly in the way, looks at watch] Actually, I’ve got a bit of a complaint –
ParkingNazi: Yeah, ‘ParkingNazi’ is a bit harsh innit?
JS: Well you are a baddy..
ParkingNazi: I’m not a baddy, I’m just following orders!
JS: Well it’s the enthusiasm you follow them with that I object to –
ParkingNazi: [looks again at watch] – As I was saying, I like pictures too see. But I like photoshop better. I can make potholes look really funky! Have you ever tried HDR?
JS: God no
ParkingNazi: You should try it. But you know what’s even better?
JS: Gouging my eyeballs out?
ParkingNazi: [again looking at watch] No, you can really cover your tracks… take your car for example…
JS: Err, yeah
ParkingNazi: Well if it were on ‘broken yellow lines’ I couldn’t theoretically ticket you
JS: No, that would be evil
ParkingNazi: But you know, I just follow orders so I’d do it anyway. And then I do a picture – for evidence see -and bish bash bosh on photoshop and no more ‘broken yellow lines’. And I’ve got the proof and everything!!
JS: That’s nice of you
ParkingNazi: Well I’m just following orders. It’s like what you do at the football, miss the ball in the goal pic and mac it back in again
JS: [looking slightly uncomfortable] Well, I wouldn’t know anything about that
ParkingNazi: [looks at watch] But as you know, it’s far easier to solve a problem at the time than polish your turds afterwards…
JS: Well yes, that is true
ParkingNazi: [watch beeps] So a far simpler thing to do is just chat to you till you’re five minutes over! [Slaps ticket down triumphantly]
ParkingNazi: Well, I am a baddy